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The Real Housewives of Vancouver?

5 Mar

 

 

 

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I'm aware one of these women, is a brunette, but you get the point. Also, one of these women (second from the left) is Japanese.... Okay, I'm sure she's not lying, there's a 1/4 in there somewhere...

Gee whiz, I had quite a few things I considered (for lack of a better word) ranting about today. Take note, I refrained from saying ‘bitching’, because this is a family blog. Oops.  Anywho, I’ve decided to discuss – if you want to get all technical then this is most definitely a rant – the Real Housewives of Vancouver. Or as I’d like to call them the Beverly Hills-Looking-But-With-Blonder-Hair-And-More-Botox-Spa-Going-Holt-Renfrew-Shopping-Expensive-Liquore-Drinking-Heels-And-Velour-Wearing-Faux-Housewives-of-Vancouver.  In so few words, they do Beverly Hills better than the Beverly Hills Housewives.  Speaking of housewives, what even makes a housewife?  I grew up believing a housewife was a stay-at-home mom who cooked and cleaned and looked after her children.  I guess the term is used rather loosely now…

I’ve added in a photo to show you what I mean.  These women are blonde and botoxed.  And anyone who’s ever been to Vancouver would know that it is one of the most diverse cities on the planet.  I’m not over exaggerating when I say that.  Whites are probably a minority in Vancouver, especially bleach blonde ‘housewives’ types.  I have only ever met one woman who resembles anything close to the women selected for the Real Housewives of Vancouver, so based on that statistic, those women are rarer than a gunless Texan – yeah, I’m not Southern…  Anywho, you get the point and if you don’t you can read my lovely letter below addressed to whomever chose these ‘housewives’.

 

Dear Slice & Your “Housewives” Casting Agent,

  I don’t live in Atlanta, or New Jersey or Beverly Hills or whatever other cities you use for your Real Housewives show, so I can’t comment on the representation of the women.  Though, I’m sure you nailed the Beverly Hills one.  But I do live in Vancouver, BC and this cast of women you’ve chosen is ridiculous.  What an incredibly unfair representation of Vancouverites.  And I don’t just mean in terms of color; I mean at least a few women who don’t self tan in December, or highlight their hair every two weeks, or have fake breasts.  I mean seriously, don’t we get enough of those?!  I understand there’s a ‘housewife’ type you’re looking for, but I’m sure women who live off of their husband’s incomes and spend their days shopping, and drinking chardonnay at 11am while getting their hair and nails did, yet aren’t an Oompa Loompa Barbie mix do exist in Vancouver..I think.  I’m just guessing considering the only girls I’ve seen with bleach blonde hair in Vancouver are misguided teenagers.  And considering the success of Holt Renfrew, Vancouver has a large collection of the wealthy.  So where are all these wealthy blonde girls who aren’t still in high school?  I’ve come to the conclusion that you’ve hired these women to move out here from California and pose as Canadian girls.  How shocked they will be when they discover they’re a rarity out here.  In fact, our population is significantly East Indian and Chinese, and they also account for a large majority of the ballers out here.  I just think it would be nice to poke fun of the women of America (and now Canada) while still portraying an accurate depiction.  I mean, you’ve already inaccurately portrayed ‘housewives’ and you’ve made women look like crazy, self obsessed, gold digging nut jobs (prior to this series, this was a dirty little secret!), so let’s at least give the city you’re setting up in some credit and show what makes it different from being another Jersey Shore.  Jersey has its Oompas, Beverly Hills has its Barbies, Atlanta has its..uh…Nene.  And Vancouver should have its diversity.  Because who doesn’t like diversity?  Okay, I’m pretty sure the people who like your show are scared of diversity and may not even know how to spell the word – perhaps questionable – but I know the people of Vancouver would appreciate an accurate depiction of our city, and something that for most of us is one of our favorite things about the city.  If you don’t show what each individual city has to offer, then every housewives show will be the same…in short, what’s the point of going to all the trouble to make an identical show? Maybe it’s just me, but it’s a little disheartening that these women represent ‘housewives’, women, and Vancouver.

Sincerely,

your worst enemy, an opinionated women 😉

 

Okay, before I head off, I’d just like to let everyone know, I’m not necessarily judging these women or their lifestyle choices.  Lord knows I would love to shop all day, every day.  And tanning may not be my thing, but I was born with the natural shading that some seem to want to pay for, so what do I know?  It may not be my lifestyle or one that I would choose if offered – however, I’ve always said I’d make a wonderful trophy wife – but to each their own.

The point is, it’s not necessarily these women that I’m ranting to or judging, but rather the network and whoever cast these women.  If you take note, the letter is directed towards such, and not the cast itself.  I just wanted to point that out before being called a hypocrite for being anti-judgy and then posting this.  Nothing wrong with judging a network that devalues my city!

Next week we’ll discuss your modern day (seriously, for lack of a better word – sorry mom!) sluts. Stick around!

Have a great day!

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New Obsession: Community

21 Jan

Because pictures make what I have to say seem more important.

I have been MIA for the pastcouple of days because of this special new thing in my life called Community.  You know that incredible TV show that apparently not enough people watch because it is currently MIA until the Spring (blasphemous!)?  Yes, that one.  Oh you thought I meant an actual community.  That’s cute.

My friend got me season 1 for my Bday and I watched all of season 1 in the span of 3 days, season 2 in the span of 2 and season 3 (well what’s been aired of it) in 1.  Now, that I have caught up and I have to wait until spring for new episodes I feel…well empty inside.  And so it is suiting for me to refer to the episode where Abed discovered that Cougar Town was going to be MIA for awhile and so he needed a new show.  Without a show he was an empty mute shell that stared at his computer screen.  This is me.  I miss it so much and I only finished the last episode 1 hour 22 minutes 43 seconds ago.

I miss their movie/TV references, Pierce’s inappropriate jokes, Troy and Abed’s bromance, that old guy Leonard who would be the coolest grandpa ever, and even that black guy who says “Pop pop!”.  And without Community I’ll just have to imagine that Jeff and Annie finally get together, that Magnitude gets a new catch phrase, that Abed finds the girl of his dreams, that Britta stops being…Britta (is it just me or is she annoying? Shirley at times too), that Pierce continues to tell stupid offensive jokes that I laugh at, and that there will be a paint ball episode at the end of season 3!!

I know Community hasn’t been cancelled.  But having to wait till spring is almost just as bad.  At least if it was cancelled there wouldn’t be any unanswered questions and even if there were I would be a man about it and accept fate.  But waiting sucks! Waiting means that I know there are unanswered questions.  Now everything is rushing to my head!! So many scenarios and options.  This will undoubtedly be my life for the next few months.

(insert sarcasm now) So thank you NBC for making me wait until SPRING and for not even providing an exact date but being broad and offering a season instead!  (continue with sarcasm)  And thank you Dan Harmon for creating such a wonderful show (not really sarcastic, this is true) that I am so addicted to I will forever feel like an empty shell until it’s back on air.  (sarcasm is still going strong)  And thank you to my friend who got me the show because it really hasn’t impacted my life at all (that was just oozing with sarcasm).

Also, I want to take this chance to say I have a crush on Joel McHale and he’s kind of old – okay 40, but considering my age he’s old and he’s probably married anyway – and also he will forever be the thinking or smelling guy from What’s Your Number? and that’s hard for me to muster.  Do I want to be with Jeff Winger or the thinking or smelling guy?  And is Joel McHale even similar to those guys? So many questions and no answers..all thanks to this new addiction that has taken over my life.

I’ve been hit with a sudden realization…I think I have an addictive personality.  But perhaps this is a blog for another day.

Okay, I’m off now to watch one of my favorite chick flicks, How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days.  I apologize for being MIA for awhile, for overly gushing about Community and for those who have yet to watch Community but may begin after reading this…I apologize for dragging you in.  THERE IS NO WAY OUT!

Have a great day!

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