Archive | Rant RSS feed for this section

“There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.” – Madeleine K. Albright

23 May

Thank you for the support recently.  I appreciate each and every one of you that reads my blog and shares it with others.  So thank you!  Anyway, moving along to something very exciting….A NEW BLOG POST! (queue the cheers).  “Thank you, thank you! I appreciate the enthusiasm”.

Today’s post was inspired by two things that went on in the past few days.  One of them is a five day workshop I’m currently doing that focuses on anti-oppression through film.  The short we’re doing is focused on gender discrimination, which for all that have read this blog or personally know me, know that I’m a feminist and a huge advocate for these issues.  Of course I’m a huge advocate for anti-discrimination in general too, but gender has been a big one for me.  So this short that we’re making is focused on gender discrimination and we’re going to play on a lesser shown issue, women on women discrimination.  This was one thing that influenced this post.  The second being something I watched in which a woman declared herself the anti-feminist.  Yeah, you heard me correctly.

It’s terrible that women are still daily oppressed by males, however, I’m almost finding it more depressing at how many women criticize and verbally abuse other women.  We all do it regarding ourselves, that “I’m not good enough” mentality, in which we convince ourselves being larger than a size two or not having the right hair or being darker than fair isn’t beautiful.  Judging ourselves is terrible as it is, but this hate on hate crime where women throw the same expectations upon other women or don’t see women’s worth so believe it’s acceptable for us to be any less than equal has got to STOP.  If you don’t see something wrong with this then I feel bad for you.  The first step is educating so that you can understand, so that you can empathize so that you can respect.

Living in Vancouver, I’m incredibly lucky and aware that we have a diverse community and what feels like very little discrimination or hate.  I will admit there are other places I’ve traveled to in BC that don’t hold the same values, but Vancouver is a hot spot for acceptance.  And those who don’t have those beliefs tend to keep their feelings to themselves.  However, I’ve noticed one form of discrimination that seems to be ignored in North America (most likely because we still have it better than those in other countries) is gender.

I am 100% aware that in some countries women have the unfortune of being beaten, killed or disowned for simply having another man look at them, and that so many women in other countries don’t even have a voice in their own homes.  Or even worse, are forced to marry their rapists or are told it’s their fault for even being raped.  This is obviously unacceptable and something needs to change, but I’ve been beginning to worry how can we preach and educate others on how to treat women when there is still such large gender discrimination out here.

There’s men vs. women discrimination in which a man can state or insinuate that a woman isn’t as qualified as a man.  Almost every woman I know has experienced some kind of work place hate, which can definitely include even getting paid less than a male coworker with the same position.  I’m sorry but what screams out that you can do this job better than me?  Do you have all of that insightful male wisdom from the possession of a prostate?  Oh, I forgot!  It must be your superior hand eye coordination from years of playing video games.  What’s that?  You think I AM better than you at something?  Oh, being in the kitchen.  Yeah, THAT’s how you get a girlfriend buddy…

And why do some guys find it acceptable to call us “sweetie”, “babe”, “hun”, “lil mama” or “lil shorty” when they do NOT even know us?  And then they’re going to get angry when you don’t immediately fall head over heels for their irresistible charm?  I’m sorry, but do I look like your mom?  Let’s take a second to applaud all of the guys that know how to REALLY compliment a woman.  And especially the guys who understand when you’re not interested and don’t become aggressive or rude if you’re not.  Objectifying women is so common, I think some guys don’t even realize how not to do it.

Of course there are the extremely offensive stereotypes, active from years ago when interracial marriage Imagewas illegal, people were never openly gay and women couldn’t even vote.  So yes obviously it makes sense that women should still be in the kitchen, because we haven’t progressed from any of that.  A tip to guys who actually want to one day get married or at least get laid, take “make me a sandwich” and every other sexist joke out of your vocabulary.

I find that where men are concerned these are the most common forms of gender discrimination, however, let’s not forget that abuse is also present in North America.  That topic is just too huge for one blog, let alone a portion of one.

There’s also women vs. women discrimination, which if you remember was the whole reason I wrote this blog.  Well that didn’t take too long to get to my point…

Women think it’s okay to call each other “bitches”, “hos”, “whores”, “sluts”, “skanks” and very many other choice words.  We have a tendency to rate women based on their appearance rather than the content of their character.  Wow…doesn’t that sound familiar?  Obviously there’s an unrealistic expectation of women put out by the media, and if you haven’t figured that out yet…wow.

Image

This unrealistic expectation can thank photoshop and displays a trim figure that some how eats McDonalds, a perfect face that claims thanks to one product, shiny wavy hair that “every” woman has.  And what’s more, the media has convinced us we all look alike (or should, at least).  The mold is a tall, thin, big boobed blonde (it feels only recently that brunettes or red heads have become more desired), fair skinned, perfect faced woman.  These women DO in fact exist in a magical land called Sweden (I’ve heard you can get there through Narnia and taking a left at Middle Earth, just FYI).  So not to say that these aren’t a type of real woman, however, much like how there isn’t just one race, there isn’t just one type of woman.

It comes down to REEL women vs. REAL women.  What the media puts out there isn’t a fair depiction of the majority of REAL women.  But we’re smart people, we understand.  Right?  Apparently not, because there’s this expectation that we must look a certain way. And let’s be honest, if you grow up an average height, larger, big breasted, brunette with darker than tanned skin there’s not much you can do to become that unachievable woman.  I mean all I really had going for me were the boobs, and any big breasted woman will tell you, they’re not as fun as they look.    Eventually the lucky women pick up on that it’s not wrong to not look like the girls in the media.  But the huge amounts of girls who put this pressure on themselves to be something else also put this pressure on other women, women they usually don’t even know.

Self hate is a terrible thing, but to expect something of someone else because of your own personal expectations is just plain silly.  Now many girls believe not only do they have to look like a Swedish girl, but so do all of their friends and all of the girls passing them on the street.  I’m sure most of us know someone who has brutally critiqued how another woman looks behind her back, “She’s HUGE!” “Ew, did you see what she was wearing?” “Oh my gosh, her boyfriend was so hot but she was fugly!” (Do people still say fugly?).  I’ll even admit, I myself have gasped at other women’s outfit selections.  It just happens, it’s natural for us to have expectations of others.  And that is wrong.

Apparently some young ladies in high school go as far as to rate each other based on appearances. Where do we get off assuming that someone is fat because they’re not a size zero, or ugly because they have a different shaped face than some model?  Women on women hate is terrible.  To some extent it’s worse than man on women hate.  There’s always been this expectation of men and women and how they should behave so it kind of makes sense that some men just don’t understand how women have different options now and aren’t required to be any where or anyone.  However, women tearing each other down because of media expectations?  That’s fucked up.  Excuse the swearing, but REALLY?!   You’d think that women would want to support each other through this gender war, but instead we need to protect ourselves against men AND women?  And I haven’t even begun to discuss the anti-feminist women.

Image

There’s a woman (and somehow I expect there may be others who share the same demeaning thought cycle) who has claimed herself as an “anti-feminist”.  She starts out this video by explaining that she thinks it made sense back in the day when women couldn’t vote because they weren’t educated.  Uh…what the fuck? – again, sorry for the swearing! – Do you not realize that women had an education far different from any man, she would have understood what would have been required to raise a family and keep a stable household.  An opinion that should have been highly valued if she were allowed to vote.

Then this woman (you know what?  I’m sorry, I think of “woman” and I think strong, confident, powerful.  So I really can’t call this girl a woman).  This girl goes on to say that she thinks the 50s had it right when wives were homemakers and whatnot.  There’s even a quote below the video that is something along the lines of “women are better than men at somethings, such as cooking, cleaning and making babies”.  Another favorite quote of mine, “women in government? that scares me”.  Yes, YOU in government would terrify me.  Her facts to back up this quote are Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin.  Uh…yeah, not the greatest example.  Oh wait, she then admits that she’s a right wing Conservative to the core..THERE it is.  This is starting to make sense…However, in another video she mentions that she supports gay rights.  Cause being a Conservative and supporting gay rights makes sense.   Sorry, I’m a little off topic.

At the end she also admits to sounding like “the biggest idiot ever”.  The first step is admitting it.  CHECK.  I don’t want to be a hypocrite and hate on this girl, but I can’t take her seriously, and I was so disturbed watching it.  Even sadder, most people who watched the video agreed with her.

One comment:

Feminism is just narcissism.

Women have all the rights they could possibly want. But feminists expect to be showered with sympathy and they want to blame their personal failings on men as a group.

Holy mother of God.  Having rights on paper is not the same thing as having RIGHTS.  A man will never be judged the same way as a woman.  And that’s not to say that there isn’t gender discrimination towards men. I 100% believe that there is and perhaps I’ll write a separate blog on that issue.  But concerning women, a woman is not only expected to be a certain way but what is natural and makes us strong, men will use and see as a weakness.  “Oh, you must be PMSing” is one of the most ignorant statements a guy can make.  In writing we have rights, but opportunities will be taken away from us because we have a vagina.  For most men, the most opportunity taken away from you is the ability to birth a child.  Sorry, if that was your life long dream.

Here’s the link to the  EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE video so that you may also be disturbed: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkIiIaXcal4

Here’s the thing about feminism, and this should be the legal dictionary definition.  Feminism is about choice.  What we want is the opportunity for women to choose if they want to be stay at home moms (which I totally support!) or want to have a career of their own.  And everything in between, if you want to be both a mom and career woman, or be independent and travel, whatever you want to do.  The point is to have choice without judgement or expectations.  And of course to be treated equally.  Some men seem to believe that feminists are demanding more than equality, as to make women superior to men.  Maybe we’ll go after superiority after we first achieve equality.

So there you have it.

We need to all make a conscious decision to be more aware of the things we say.  We live in a country where we’re lucky enough to have freedom of speech and rights, but everyone wants to take away everyone else’s freedom of choice.  And yes, this applies to EVERYTHING.  If you don’t agree with someone’s lifestyle, whether it be because they’re homosexual or because they are a woman and have chosen to have a successful career, you DO NOT have to have the same lifestyle but can you PLEASE respect peoples’ CHOICE to choose their own lifestyle?  You don’t even need to be friends with people if you don’t agree with the lifestyle they have but just give people the courtesy of letting them make their own decisions without the judgement.

I’d like to end with a short produced by Reel Youth in Vancouver, it’s an emotional story on female discrimination: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cso_R0YGKE.

Hopefully you enjoy that and take something of importance from this blog.

Have a wonderful day!

Advertisements

Your Guide to A-Holes at the Gym

16 Apr
Image

Hot stuff, eh?

So I have hereby decided there will be a guaranteed post every Sunday and anything else is a special occasion blog (or in other words, a bored out of my mind blog – this will most likely never occur because when I’m indeed bored out of my mind I have a tendency to prefer TV and movies to blogging).  I’m aware that it’s no longer Sunday, but my intentions were good.  Anywho, moving along to the blog of the week. Or rather for those of you who have realized my true intentions, the rant of the week.  Enjoy!

In the last month I have become quite the gym rat.  I’m still not completely sure I can even call it that, since I’ve only been going for a month and about three days a week.  But I’m pretty proud of my discipline so I’m going to go on calling myself a gym rat. I’m now like those Jersey kids but without the tanning and the laundry…and the Ed Hardy.  In fact, I’ve already added ‘Certified Gym Rat’ to my resume. BAM!

So being a gym rat means I have spent a fair share of time at my local gym gearing up for the gun show and preparing for the zombie apocalypse.  During said time, I’ve learned quite a few things;

a) I would die first if I were in the Hunger Games  

b) However, I could definitely take a zombie  

 

c) I found out where all the jackasses hang out

I don’t think I need to further explain myself concerning The Hunger Games.  I’m not going to lie to you, I wouldn’t even be interested in participating in anything promoting hunger.  For Pete’s sake, I carry snacks in my bag in case the zombie apocalypse happens while I’m out and every grocery store is raided before I get the chance…and then I die a sad, lonely death from starvation.  Eating my own limbs is NOT an option!  So yes, hunger doesn’t appeal to me.  And then of course there’s the whole exercise thing. Let’s just say I always imagined myself as an ass kicking Katniss before heading to the gym, now I know I’d be the moron who runs off towards the cornucopia before the games have even begun, being blown to smithereens.  Suzanne Collins didn’t even write that character in because the moron is never inspiring.

As for taking on a zombie; I watch The Walking Dead so I’m pretty confident in my zombie knowledge, and based on my weight lifting ability…let’s just say, I’m not scared of a few zombies.  But I’m terrified of starving to death.

What I’d like to explain is where all the jackasses hide out.  It’s called the gym.  In the last month I have had far too many run-ins with my fellow gym rats.  Wait, you know what?! They don’t even deserve the gym rat title! They’re just nobodies who show up at the gym..and they are extremely rude!

In order to use the cardio machines you have to sign up on a clip board by the machine and then wait until your time slot is up.  On several occasions when I get to my allocated machine at the allocated time there’s some nobody-who-just-shows-up-at-the-gym on my treadmill/elliptical.  I usually let it go because I’ve only just arrived at the machine, so they must be finishing up or have not yet realized it’s my turn.  I give this approximately two minutes, at which point I then say to them “Excuse me, it’s my turn now. Look it’s – insert allocated time here -“.  The nobody-who-just-shows-up-at-the-gym replies with either

a) “five/ten/*insert another amount of time minutes left” or  

b) they just pretend I’m non-existent or  

c) they pretend they can’t speak English – this seems most popular after first answering with A and proving their English speaking ability.  How dumb do you think I am? 

At this point all of the previous typical responses are invalid to why I’m telling them to get off of my machine.  “It doesn’t matter how much longer you have left, it depends on who’s signed up on the sheet” *insert strong assertive pointing.  This is when ignoring me comes into play, and they just keep on running on my machine.

Most of the time the people this seems to happen with are older than I, generally 20 or 3o years older.  And being the kind, gentle person I am I can’t convince myself to do what I would do if the person were 20 and fit (pull the stop plug and have them fall on their high&mighty ass).  So instead I calmly (I’m actually steaming mad, especially since most of the gym has seen my embarrassing loss and probably no longer regard me at a gym rat level) wait until their five/ten/*insert amount of time minutes are up.

Finally when the jackass gets off my machine, I calmly, but while maintaining a loud and assertive tone so I can earn back my gym rat cred say “THAT was EXTREMELY rude.”  I don’t name call or get vicious.  Just a simple stare down and some words that will hopefully take them off their high horse.  If I’m really pissed I have previously quoted Ice Cube’s “you better check yo self, before you wreck yo self”.  That taught him; you know who you are.

Finally, I have been such a burden to the people using MY machine during MY allocated time slot that they think they can just take off without wiping their gross sweat off of the machine.  I can tell they’re thinking “shows her”, like it’s my fault they’re a jackass who doesn’t understand the system.

So in this situation, I have a typical gym jackass walking away after wasting my time and leaving my machine drenched in their sweat. This is when as loud as possible so every gym jackass knows they best be checking

And the award goes to YOU, machine stealing dude.

themselves before dealing with me, I say “AND YOU BETTER WIPE YOUR GROSS SWEAT OFF OF THE MACHINE”! Ladies and gentleman, THAT is how you deal with a jackass.

After dealing with said jackass, I now have the respect of all the other gym rats. In fact, I once had the body building type admit to me after witnessing the incident that he was scared.  I make body builders scared; this is probably something I should mention on my resume. Skills: Gym Rat and Frightening to Body Builders.   

There are actually two types of jackasses at the gym.  The jackasses I just discussed are of the machine stealing variety.  However, there is another breed, a more obnoxious one.  This breed is known as the d-bag jackass.  I haven’t done my research but I believe this particular breed originated in the Jersey Shore.

Luck for you, I have a fantastic example of the d-bag jackass in action.  One day while working on my triceps/biceps or whatever I noticed a guy watching.  This is typical gym behavior, but I could tell he wasn’t like the older men who casually walk around the gym watching girls run.  He was watching me because he was intimidated.  You say impressed, I say tomato.  Anyway, he was intimidated because I’m like the freaking hulk.  This isn’t my ego speaking, after carrying around small children all day I can lift quite a bit (at least for a girl who didn’t really pump metal till a month ago).  So after I finish lifting an impressive amount, this guy comes over and uses the machine after me.  He starts out by changing the setting to an obscene

My mistake, maybe the d-bag jackass originated at Globo Gym and not the shore..

amount and with shaky arms barely lifting it.  He holds it there for what seems like a lifetime and then follows through with 2 more pathetic attempts before heading to another machine.

What makes him a d-bag gym jackass isn’t because he wasn’t strong enough to lift those weights, but that he felt he had to prove to himself and to me that he was much stronger than a girl.  And let’s be honest, doing one set of 3 reps isn’t impressive buddy. You can pick these guys out because they only do the weight lifting and walk around in bicep flattering shirts.  Oh, and also they like to make loud grunting noises while working out. Because nothing says manly man like primate sounding grunts.  While, in all fairness I suppose that’s how the neanderthals won over their wives…

While the d-bag gym jackass is obnoxious and annoying, at least he provides a few good laughs.  The machine stealing jackasses are vicious and rude, and quite frankly I’m waiting for the chance to pull the stop plug and see one fall on his or her ass.

I could go on and on about my gym encounters. I’ve briefly mentioned the older men who people watch there – which, I shouldn’t have to tell you is inappropriate; that’s like people watching at the pool, but at least people swimming are clean and don’t smell. If you’re people watching at the gym, you don’t love yourself – and I suppose they would be a ‘jackass’ breed of their own.  Though, I haven’t looked into it.  But I’ve already written a bloody essay and if I write any more we’ll be here all day.  Don’t be mad about all of the excessive writing, be glad I stopped here.

I’m sure there are gym jackasses every where, if anyone knows of another breed or has any stories let me know. Thanks for reading!

Have a great Tuesday!

 

Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Slut?

13 Mar

WARNING: There happens to be some swearing and inappropriate context. You’ve been warned.

I think Mean Girls is one of those movies everyone on the freaking planet has seen.  Find me a person who hasn’t seen Mean Girls, and I’ll show you a liar. Or a hermit.  Every decade has their highschool classic; the 80s had The Breakfast Club – okay, in all honesty, the 80s had every great highschool film -, the 90s had…uh..Clueless? And the 2000s had Mean Girls.  You think I’m over exaggerating? Try and go one day without saying or hearing someone else say, “You go Glen Coco” (or substituting Glen Coco for an actual person).  The two most popular characters from this generation (and possibly of all time) are 1) Harry Potter and 2) Glen Coco.  He trends on Twitter at least once a month.  Of course there’s a reason whyause you’ve seen the movie. Anyway, during that scene, Ms. Norbury (Tina Fey) takes over since Mr. Duvall can’t handle talk of “heavy flows and wide set vaginas” and she tells the ladies that they “need to stop calling each other sluts and whores”.  Clearly, Ms. Norbury is on to something. And you’d think everyone who has watched Mean Girls (as previously mentioned, literally everyone) would have caught on to that.  I mean, they caught on to the fact that Glen Coco is high school icon, but they couldn’t catch onto the fact that the way women treat each other should not be tolerated? Maybe you’re shaking your head saying “No, we got that…”, but the fact that women are still complete assholes to each other tells me they got it for all of a second.

Today, I want to talk about sluts – it may seem like my intro was a little uncalled for but it will all tie in…okay, actually, now that I think about it…it was entirely useless.  Slut/whore/skank/prostitute are pretty popular words used referring to friends, frenemies, girlfriends, enemies, mothers, sisters, aunts, that girl who slept with your ex, that girl who stole your pencil, that girl who showed up wearing the same outfit as you – oh no she didn’t!!  Slut and skank are probably the most acceptable, because they don’t come across as as bad a swears as ‘bitch’, so girls just use it when referring to anyone.  And guys do it too! I think, at first it seemed natural for a guy to use that vocabulary since he was probably sleeping with the ‘slut’ (or not in most cases – you know, “that slut wouldn’t sleep with me!”), but the more and more women began to use it and when referring to their best friends even (“Oh my god Vicky, can’t believe you made out with Brian! You’re such a slut!”), the more men began to think it was more than acceptable to use the word, but encouraged.  Seriously, can’t we all just go back to calling each other bitches?

I would just like to add, I’m not all high and mighty on my throne of goodness and purity; I swear like a trucker at times, and have definitely used such words to describe those closest to me.  I’m no better than you, just more aware.  Ya digg?

So back on point, now we live in this society where men and women call women sluts/skanks/whores/prostitutes, and most of us aren’t even close to any of those acquisitions.  If your friend made out with a guy, she is not a slut! You’re probably just some virgin nun.  Unless you just slept with a woman for money, she’s not a prostitute.  The only right you have calling a woman a whore is if you’re dating her and you find out she’s been sleeping with every Joe, Dick, Tracy, Stewart and Megan in town.  Or (ladies) if you’re her friend and notice she’s been sleeping with every Joe, Dick, Tracy, Stewart and even your friend Megan and think she needs an intervention.  It’s definitely alright to call her a whore at this point, because she’s definitely acting like one and needs to understand that unless she wants to catch gonorrhea from Dick she better close her legs.  Wow this blog is a little raunchy today.. Anyway, do you understand? As for skanks and sluts, let’s leave those terms for the real sluts and skanks, alright? I mean, maybe I’m in the wrong for judging..but I think we can all agree here that while whores are those who sleep around, skanks/sluts just want to sleep around.  Do you understand?

Let me break it down: You know when you go out in the winter and it’s freezing cold and you see those girls standing in line for the clubs wearing their shortest skirt, their tightest and most cleavage heavy shirt (possibly a little mid-riff showing) and their highest heels. And you know they won’t be able to dance in that without popping a boob or (God forbid) something else, so it’s quite obvious to everyone, they’re there to get shit faced, pop a boob, meet just about any guy who a) grinds behind them or b) looks at them and then…go home and pass out. Actually, in all fairness, most don’t make it home.

The whores however, didn’t even make it to the club, they saw Stewart standing in line and they hailed a cab back to his place.

I’m hoping you understand now. Let me add to this by saying, just because one night your friend or you decides to go home with a guy you just met doesn’t make you a whore or even a slut/skank (if you didn’t dress like one!).  Don’t be intimidated by what your friends could possibly call you considering they thought you were the biggest whore on the planet after you made out with your boss. Just remember, when going home with a stranger, the likelihood of you being made into a skin suit is 94% (these are real statistics!).  And if going home with a different stranger becomes a nightly routine you may be crossing into some ‘whore’ territory there.

Also, for all of those girls who do dress like sluts/skanks and are proud of it, whatever, it’s your prerogative.  We all make mistakes when we’re young, and hopefully you’ll grow out it and it won’t hurt your further down the line.  Just know that unfortunately, if you dress as such, you will be treated as such.  If you want respect from men and women, you need to dress respectably.  There isn’t any guide book, but you can always follow these:

1) Cleavage is hot! Cleavage and mid-riff? Not so hot. Cleavage, mid-riff and tight? Damn right trashy.

2) Legs are hot! Legs and bush? Sounds illegal. Legs, bush, cleavage, mid-riff and tight? Why not just get paid for it instead?

3) If you can’t bend over without your whoo-ha being front and center, stop wearing shirts without pants!

4) If you’re shivering, wear pants and/or a jacket!

5) If all you can do is sway because your heels are bitches, buy some comfortable heels so you don’t look like a dumbass!

In short, if you’re going to flaunt the twins, don’t overdo it with a short skirt or shorts.  And if you want to flaunt the legs, don’t overdo it with the cleavage. Focus on one are or the other. It’s like with makeup, if you do up your eyes and lips in bright colors, you look like a moron.  If you’re showing the twins and bush, you look desperate.

Image

Well, there you have it! This has been a lesson in slut 101.  I would just like to clarify, I’m against the overuse of such words as skank, sluts and whores, however, I’m also against the demeaning manner in which young women present themselves by the way they dress. Sure, you have the freedom to dress how you like, but you must know there is such little respect for such a display. Unfortunately people are judged by the way they look, and the only people who like what they see are guys who aren’t getting it from anyone else.  Just some food for thought that will hopefully lead you in the right direction.  Be the classy, sexy woman at the club, it’s the difference between a Mila Kunis and a Snooki. Who would you rather be?

Thanks for reading! Hope I didn’t offend any ‘sluts’, Joe, Dick, Tracy, Stewart or Megans.  And sorry for the somewhat raunchy post today! I try to keep the swearing and raunchy to myself, but this post sort of called for it.

Have a wonderful day!

The Real Housewives of Vancouver?

5 Mar

 

 

 

Image

I'm aware one of these women, is a brunette, but you get the point. Also, one of these women (second from the left) is Japanese.... Okay, I'm sure she's not lying, there's a 1/4 in there somewhere...

Gee whiz, I had quite a few things I considered (for lack of a better word) ranting about today. Take note, I refrained from saying ‘bitching’, because this is a family blog. Oops.  Anywho, I’ve decided to discuss – if you want to get all technical then this is most definitely a rant – the Real Housewives of Vancouver. Or as I’d like to call them the Beverly Hills-Looking-But-With-Blonder-Hair-And-More-Botox-Spa-Going-Holt-Renfrew-Shopping-Expensive-Liquore-Drinking-Heels-And-Velour-Wearing-Faux-Housewives-of-Vancouver.  In so few words, they do Beverly Hills better than the Beverly Hills Housewives.  Speaking of housewives, what even makes a housewife?  I grew up believing a housewife was a stay-at-home mom who cooked and cleaned and looked after her children.  I guess the term is used rather loosely now…

I’ve added in a photo to show you what I mean.  These women are blonde and botoxed.  And anyone who’s ever been to Vancouver would know that it is one of the most diverse cities on the planet.  I’m not over exaggerating when I say that.  Whites are probably a minority in Vancouver, especially bleach blonde ‘housewives’ types.  I have only ever met one woman who resembles anything close to the women selected for the Real Housewives of Vancouver, so based on that statistic, those women are rarer than a gunless Texan – yeah, I’m not Southern…  Anywho, you get the point and if you don’t you can read my lovely letter below addressed to whomever chose these ‘housewives’.

 

Dear Slice & Your “Housewives” Casting Agent,

  I don’t live in Atlanta, or New Jersey or Beverly Hills or whatever other cities you use for your Real Housewives show, so I can’t comment on the representation of the women.  Though, I’m sure you nailed the Beverly Hills one.  But I do live in Vancouver, BC and this cast of women you’ve chosen is ridiculous.  What an incredibly unfair representation of Vancouverites.  And I don’t just mean in terms of color; I mean at least a few women who don’t self tan in December, or highlight their hair every two weeks, or have fake breasts.  I mean seriously, don’t we get enough of those?!  I understand there’s a ‘housewife’ type you’re looking for, but I’m sure women who live off of their husband’s incomes and spend their days shopping, and drinking chardonnay at 11am while getting their hair and nails did, yet aren’t an Oompa Loompa Barbie mix do exist in Vancouver..I think.  I’m just guessing considering the only girls I’ve seen with bleach blonde hair in Vancouver are misguided teenagers.  And considering the success of Holt Renfrew, Vancouver has a large collection of the wealthy.  So where are all these wealthy blonde girls who aren’t still in high school?  I’ve come to the conclusion that you’ve hired these women to move out here from California and pose as Canadian girls.  How shocked they will be when they discover they’re a rarity out here.  In fact, our population is significantly East Indian and Chinese, and they also account for a large majority of the ballers out here.  I just think it would be nice to poke fun of the women of America (and now Canada) while still portraying an accurate depiction.  I mean, you’ve already inaccurately portrayed ‘housewives’ and you’ve made women look like crazy, self obsessed, gold digging nut jobs (prior to this series, this was a dirty little secret!), so let’s at least give the city you’re setting up in some credit and show what makes it different from being another Jersey Shore.  Jersey has its Oompas, Beverly Hills has its Barbies, Atlanta has its..uh…Nene.  And Vancouver should have its diversity.  Because who doesn’t like diversity?  Okay, I’m pretty sure the people who like your show are scared of diversity and may not even know how to spell the word – perhaps questionable – but I know the people of Vancouver would appreciate an accurate depiction of our city, and something that for most of us is one of our favorite things about the city.  If you don’t show what each individual city has to offer, then every housewives show will be the same…in short, what’s the point of going to all the trouble to make an identical show? Maybe it’s just me, but it’s a little disheartening that these women represent ‘housewives’, women, and Vancouver.

Sincerely,

your worst enemy, an opinionated women 😉

 

Okay, before I head off, I’d just like to let everyone know, I’m not necessarily judging these women or their lifestyle choices.  Lord knows I would love to shop all day, every day.  And tanning may not be my thing, but I was born with the natural shading that some seem to want to pay for, so what do I know?  It may not be my lifestyle or one that I would choose if offered – however, I’ve always said I’d make a wonderful trophy wife – but to each their own.

The point is, it’s not necessarily these women that I’m ranting to or judging, but rather the network and whoever cast these women.  If you take note, the letter is directed towards such, and not the cast itself.  I just wanted to point that out before being called a hypocrite for being anti-judgy and then posting this.  Nothing wrong with judging a network that devalues my city!

Next week we’ll discuss your modern day (seriously, for lack of a better word – sorry mom!) sluts. Stick around!

Have a great day!

Aside

Chris Brown/R-E-S-P-E-C-T: You Already Know Where This is Going…

18 Feb

Why hello there! How long has it been? I suppose any of you who consistently follow this blog will have abandonment issues by the time we’re done.  Well, I’ve decided to take some time out of my very busy day to write a blog for you. Though, I’m going to warn you now this one may result in you a) sending me hate mail or b) not caring enough to send me hate mail, but definitely not ever accidentally looking at this blog again.  And all I can say to that is, to each their own. Just remember that.

Okay, so I’m starting to believe I may be one of the few people who believes what goes on in other peoples’ lives is their business, and their business alone.  Unless something personally affects you, regardless of how terrible it may be, leave it up to those who are affected by it.  And (don’t shun me!) I believe the same goes for celebrity situations.  Their stories are always going to be on your TV and in those trashy magazines by the cash register that you can’t help but read while waiting – I’m not admitting anything! – but in reality, unless Chris Brown plans on beating us all with his Grammy – and no, I do not think so little of myself that I would ever say ‘Chris Brown can beat me up’. I happen to value myself far too much, and I understand what a tragedy Rihanna went through. No woman deserves that, and any woman who thinks she does should not be ridiculed and degraded, but instead empowered because clearly she does not value herself – it really does not concern us. By all means, go ahead and voice your opinion but please do exactly that, nothing more.  An opinion should typically go something like this, “I believe *insert belief here*” because that is exactly what it is…your belief.

So with that in mind, I know I’m a little late on the whole Grammy talk but obviously I don’t live under a rock and saw the unfortunate tweets that filled my dashboard regarding none other than the aforementioned Chris Brown.  And when I say unfortunate I mean unfortunate from both ends of the spectrum.  On one side you have these young girls tweeting how they would gladly allow Chris Brown to beat them.  To say the least, this was repulsive to read.  And then those who were on the same boat as I and repulsed by these tweets, decided to insult and further degrade these young women.  Also, countless people decided to take to twitter to voice their disgust at the fact that Chris Brown had even received a Grammy, “You beat a woman and they give you a Grammy”.

Here’s what I have to say:

Last time I checked, Grammys were won based on talent – though that may not always seem like the case.  The same goes for Oscars – once again, not always the case -, I mean Woody Allen basically married his daughter! And Polanski is a pedophile!  Please don’t take this as me siding with Chris Brown; I strongly believe that there is NEVER a reason in which a woman deserves to be hit.  All I’m saying is I respect the Grammys for being non-judgemental when selecting a winner.  Perhaps, they did it just for the controversy, but I’d like to believe

I love Miranda, but this is not okay either.

everything is light and fluffy and not about making news.  And shouldn’t we be happy that he’s putting his focus into music and not beating his girlfriends?  Here’s the thing guys, we all have our own demons and who’s to say that being addicted to drugs isn’t the same thing as being abusive.  Both can hurt you and the people you love.  Everyone has their demons, and yes they’re terrible and cause us to do some inexcusable deeds but we shouldn’t forget that just because we haven’t physically assaulted a loved one, doesn’t mean that we haven’t caused pain with our own demons.  Just remember that, because that is how we understand forgiveness.  I’m not saying to forgive Chris Brown.  I wasn’t the one he hit and I’m not sure I could ever forgive that kind of behavior, but I don’t believe that it’s our job or place to decide who should or should not receive an award that is based on their talent.  I don’t believe we’ve forgotten what Chris has done either, and we’re not rewarding him, but people grow and he was definitely a victim of that lifestyle, and if we don’t give him that then we’re just forcing him into a life where we are not allowing him to change at all.  Doesn’t that make us just as bad?  I’d like you to keep in mind, I’m not a Chris Brown groupie or fan.

I’d also just like to point out before people go off on me about my morals, despite my open to forgiveness policy, rapists and murderers are allowed to be judged – keeping in mind why some murder i.e. self defense.

So that is why I felt those who were furious with Chris Brown winning were out of line.  It is not your place.  And I understand that there are organizations out there that join together against abuse and were most likely upset with the turn of events, but like I said, we all have our own demons.  We don’t know if he is trying to change his ways and seeking help, you know what I do know though?  He grew up with abuse, and those who do tend to either a) take on those

This is always okay...

characteristics because that’s what they know or b) become the opposite of that because they understand how terrible it is.  So obviously Chris has taken on some of those characteristic, but doesn’t that make him a victim also?  We need to show him that we don’t support or condone that behavior, but that we support him seeking help and being better.  Otherwise it looks like no one is in his corner supporting his recovery, except for those of his young fans who want to let him beat them also, which doesn’t exactly send the right message to him.  I honestly believe that people who abuse are also victims and need help. And telling him off for winning an award sends hatred.  If you were struggling with your demons, hatred would be the last thing you would need. All that is for the over 30s who were tweeting out their hate Grammy night.

Cheesy, but true.

The following is for the under 30s (most likely under 20s) who do not respect themselves enough to understand a man should never hit them, or simply don’t know how to make a good joke.  I sincerely hope the tweets saying “I would let Chris Brown hit me too” started as a terrible joke that for some reason was overly RTed, because I just can’t imagine that that many woman think so little of themselves.  I have never in my life met women who would say such things.  To all you women, EVERY woman: YOU ARE TOO AMAZING TO BE DECONSTRUCTED! WHETHER THAT BE BY WORDS OR ACTIONS! IF ANYONE HITS YOU OR CALLS YOU A NAME, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, DON’T EVER EVER SAY (EVEN AS A JOKE) THAT YOU WOULD BE OKAY WITH THAT! YOU ARE TOO SMART AND TOO AMAZING TO EVEN THINK SUCH THINGS AND YOU SET EXAMPLES FOR OTHER WOMEN, WHO SHOULD LEARN FROM  A YOUNG AGE HOW INCREDIBLY AMAZING THEY ARE TOO!  Okay, that is me being advisory and inspirational.  I suggest you take note and write this on a mirror or something, because inspirational me doesn’t happen a lot.  So ladies, please value yourselves enough to know that a man has no right to hit you!  Rihanna certainly did not want that.  And I’m almost 100% positive that Chris didn’t want that either.  So those of you tweeting that to him, are sending him the wrong message! If you want to be a real fan of his, then support him in being the best him he can be.  And those of you who went on to degrade these women after reading their tweets, shame on you!  Telling a woman who clearly already doesn’t love herself that she is ‘dumb’ and calling her derogatory terms, isn’t going to help the situation. You’re just reaffirming these women’s beliefs that they’re not good enough.  It’s okay to educate them on the situation, but don’t call them ‘stupid’ or ‘dumb’ for not knowing better.  Educate them and teach them self respect so that they never let a man treat them in such a way and that more importantly, they pass these lessons on to their daughters and friends.

In regards to all of this, something else I noticed was some men and women (especially women, which boggles my mind) seem to think that saying “Rihanna deserved it” is okay.  This is just as bad as saying you’d like Chris Brown to beat you.  Seriously, it doesn’t matter if you don’t like her or her music. As mentioned, NO WOMAN deserves to be hit!  EVER!  And how do you know she ‘deserved’ it anyway? Have you met her? It’s just disgusting that another woman can have the nerve to say a woman deserves to be beaten.  Go and search what Chris even did to her and tell me that you still think she deserved that.  It seems to me that women need to learn the respect word, for themselves and one another.

Please, I beg of all of you reading this to respect yourself and others.  Please be more forgiving and loving.  Please be more understanding and kind.  Please know when a subject just doesn’t concern you.  Please share your opinions, but remember that we all have our ups and downs and just because yours aren’t broadcasted on the internet, TV and magazines doesn’t mean they aren’t just as bad.

Thank you for reading & have a wonderful day!

 

 

*Ignore my lack of grammar and spelling skills. I wrote this in parts because it so greatly frustrated me, so at some point it was late and I was watching a movie at the same time.  Sorry if parts sound like gibberish. And I apologize for the odd advertisements connected to the words…I don’t know how to fix that :S

*Also, I try to be a happy, non-ranty person (ranty person was the old me) but I really couldn’t keep this to myself. I have a tendency to be overly opinionated and feel the need to share.  That’s what blogs are for, right? Hopefully the rants will only come out on occasion.

*If you did like this post and you thought it was “inspirational” or something smart, please share with others.  I’m not looking for some huge blog success or anything, read it once and don’t come back, whatever.  But I really feel like so many women, young and old don’t understand the importance of loving oneself and that really was the main message I wanted to get across. Well, and that I think every tweet concerning Chris Brown on Grammy night was basically uncalled for.  But really, if you liked this please send it to those you believe should read it.  Okay, I’ll stop talking now. 

%d bloggers like this: