Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Slut?

13 Mar

WARNING: There happens to be some swearing and inappropriate context. You’ve been warned.

I think Mean Girls is one of those movies everyone on the freaking planet has seen.  Find me a person who hasn’t seen Mean Girls, and I’ll show you a liar. Or a hermit.  Every decade has their highschool classic; the 80s had The Breakfast Club – okay, in all honesty, the 80s had every great highschool film -, the 90s had…uh..Clueless? And the 2000s had Mean Girls.  You think I’m over exaggerating? Try and go one day without saying or hearing someone else say, “You go Glen Coco” (or substituting Glen Coco for an actual person).  The two most popular characters from this generation (and possibly of all time) are 1) Harry Potter and 2) Glen Coco.  He trends on Twitter at least once a month.  Of course there’s a reason whyause you’ve seen the movie. Anyway, during that scene, Ms. Norbury (Tina Fey) takes over since Mr. Duvall can’t handle talk of “heavy flows and wide set vaginas” and she tells the ladies that they “need to stop calling each other sluts and whores”.  Clearly, Ms. Norbury is on to something. And you’d think everyone who has watched Mean Girls (as previously mentioned, literally everyone) would have caught on to that.  I mean, they caught on to the fact that Glen Coco is high school icon, but they couldn’t catch onto the fact that the way women treat each other should not be tolerated? Maybe you’re shaking your head saying “No, we got that…”, but the fact that women are still complete assholes to each other tells me they got it for all of a second.

Today, I want to talk about sluts – it may seem like my intro was a little uncalled for but it will all tie in…okay, actually, now that I think about it…it was entirely useless.  Slut/whore/skank/prostitute are pretty popular words used referring to friends, frenemies, girlfriends, enemies, mothers, sisters, aunts, that girl who slept with your ex, that girl who stole your pencil, that girl who showed up wearing the same outfit as you – oh no she didn’t!!  Slut and skank are probably the most acceptable, because they don’t come across as as bad a swears as ‘bitch’, so girls just use it when referring to anyone.  And guys do it too! I think, at first it seemed natural for a guy to use that vocabulary since he was probably sleeping with the ‘slut’ (or not in most cases – you know, “that slut wouldn’t sleep with me!”), but the more and more women began to use it and when referring to their best friends even (“Oh my god Vicky, can’t believe you made out with Brian! You’re such a slut!”), the more men began to think it was more than acceptable to use the word, but encouraged.  Seriously, can’t we all just go back to calling each other bitches?

I would just like to add, I’m not all high and mighty on my throne of goodness and purity; I swear like a trucker at times, and have definitely used such words to describe those closest to me.  I’m no better than you, just more aware.  Ya digg?

So back on point, now we live in this society where men and women call women sluts/skanks/whores/prostitutes, and most of us aren’t even close to any of those acquisitions.  If your friend made out with a guy, she is not a slut! You’re probably just some virgin nun.  Unless you just slept with a woman for money, she’s not a prostitute.  The only right you have calling a woman a whore is if you’re dating her and you find out she’s been sleeping with every Joe, Dick, Tracy, Stewart and Megan in town.  Or (ladies) if you’re her friend and notice she’s been sleeping with every Joe, Dick, Tracy, Stewart and even your friend Megan and think she needs an intervention.  It’s definitely alright to call her a whore at this point, because she’s definitely acting like one and needs to understand that unless she wants to catch gonorrhea from Dick she better close her legs.  Wow this blog is a little raunchy today.. Anyway, do you understand? As for skanks and sluts, let’s leave those terms for the real sluts and skanks, alright? I mean, maybe I’m in the wrong for judging..but I think we can all agree here that while whores are those who sleep around, skanks/sluts just want to sleep around.  Do you understand?

Let me break it down: You know when you go out in the winter and it’s freezing cold and you see those girls standing in line for the clubs wearing their shortest skirt, their tightest and most cleavage heavy shirt (possibly a little mid-riff showing) and their highest heels. And you know they won’t be able to dance in that without popping a boob or (God forbid) something else, so it’s quite obvious to everyone, they’re there to get shit faced, pop a boob, meet just about any guy who a) grinds behind them or b) looks at them and then…go home and pass out. Actually, in all fairness, most don’t make it home.

The whores however, didn’t even make it to the club, they saw Stewart standing in line and they hailed a cab back to his place.

I’m hoping you understand now. Let me add to this by saying, just because one night your friend or you decides to go home with a guy you just met doesn’t make you a whore or even a slut/skank (if you didn’t dress like one!).  Don’t be intimidated by what your friends could possibly call you considering they thought you were the biggest whore on the planet after you made out with your boss. Just remember, when going home with a stranger, the likelihood of you being made into a skin suit is 94% (these are real statistics!).  And if going home with a different stranger becomes a nightly routine you may be crossing into some ‘whore’ territory there.

Also, for all of those girls who do dress like sluts/skanks and are proud of it, whatever, it’s your prerogative.  We all make mistakes when we’re young, and hopefully you’ll grow out it and it won’t hurt your further down the line.  Just know that unfortunately, if you dress as such, you will be treated as such.  If you want respect from men and women, you need to dress respectably.  There isn’t any guide book, but you can always follow these:

1) Cleavage is hot! Cleavage and mid-riff? Not so hot. Cleavage, mid-riff and tight? Damn right trashy.

2) Legs are hot! Legs and bush? Sounds illegal. Legs, bush, cleavage, mid-riff and tight? Why not just get paid for it instead?

3) If you can’t bend over without your whoo-ha being front and center, stop wearing shirts without pants!

4) If you’re shivering, wear pants and/or a jacket!

5) If all you can do is sway because your heels are bitches, buy some comfortable heels so you don’t look like a dumbass!

In short, if you’re going to flaunt the twins, don’t overdo it with a short skirt or shorts.  And if you want to flaunt the legs, don’t overdo it with the cleavage. Focus on one are or the other. It’s like with makeup, if you do up your eyes and lips in bright colors, you look like a moron.  If you’re showing the twins and bush, you look desperate.

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Well, there you have it! This has been a lesson in slut 101.  I would just like to clarify, I’m against the overuse of such words as skank, sluts and whores, however, I’m also against the demeaning manner in which young women present themselves by the way they dress. Sure, you have the freedom to dress how you like, but you must know there is such little respect for such a display. Unfortunately people are judged by the way they look, and the only people who like what they see are guys who aren’t getting it from anyone else.  Just some food for thought that will hopefully lead you in the right direction.  Be the classy, sexy woman at the club, it’s the difference between a Mila Kunis and a Snooki. Who would you rather be?

Thanks for reading! Hope I didn’t offend any ‘sluts’, Joe, Dick, Tracy, Stewart or Megans.  And sorry for the somewhat raunchy post today! I try to keep the swearing and raunchy to myself, but this post sort of called for it.

Have a wonderful day!

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2 Responses to “Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Slut?”

  1. criminologist12 May 2, 2012 at 8:27 am #

    Love this post!!

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