Chris Brown/R-E-S-P-E-C-T: You Already Know Where This is Going…

18 Feb

Why hello there! How long has it been? I suppose any of you who consistently follow this blog will have abandonment issues by the time we’re done.  Well, I’ve decided to take some time out of my very busy day to write a blog for you. Though, I’m going to warn you now this one may result in you a) sending me hate mail or b) not caring enough to send me hate mail, but definitely not ever accidentally looking at this blog again.  And all I can say to that is, to each their own. Just remember that.

Okay, so I’m starting to believe I may be one of the few people who believes what goes on in other peoples’ lives is their business, and their business alone.  Unless something personally affects you, regardless of how terrible it may be, leave it up to those who are affected by it.  And (don’t shun me!) I believe the same goes for celebrity situations.  Their stories are always going to be on your TV and in those trashy magazines by the cash register that you can’t help but read while waiting – I’m not admitting anything! – but in reality, unless Chris Brown plans on beating us all with his Grammy – and no, I do not think so little of myself that I would ever say ‘Chris Brown can beat me up’. I happen to value myself far too much, and I understand what a tragedy Rihanna went through. No woman deserves that, and any woman who thinks she does should not be ridiculed and degraded, but instead empowered because clearly she does not value herself – it really does not concern us. By all means, go ahead and voice your opinion but please do exactly that, nothing more.  An opinion should typically go something like this, “I believe *insert belief here*” because that is exactly what it is…your belief.

So with that in mind, I know I’m a little late on the whole Grammy talk but obviously I don’t live under a rock and saw the unfortunate tweets that filled my dashboard regarding none other than the aforementioned Chris Brown.  And when I say unfortunate I mean unfortunate from both ends of the spectrum.  On one side you have these young girls tweeting how they would gladly allow Chris Brown to beat them.  To say the least, this was repulsive to read.  And then those who were on the same boat as I and repulsed by these tweets, decided to insult and further degrade these young women.  Also, countless people decided to take to twitter to voice their disgust at the fact that Chris Brown had even received a Grammy, “You beat a woman and they give you a Grammy”.

Here’s what I have to say:

Last time I checked, Grammys were won based on talent – though that may not always seem like the case.  The same goes for Oscars – once again, not always the case -, I mean Woody Allen basically married his daughter! And Polanski is a pedophile!  Please don’t take this as me siding with Chris Brown; I strongly believe that there is NEVER a reason in which a woman deserves to be hit.  All I’m saying is I respect the Grammys for being non-judgemental when selecting a winner.  Perhaps, they did it just for the controversy, but I’d like to believe

I love Miranda, but this is not okay either.

everything is light and fluffy and not about making news.  And shouldn’t we be happy that he’s putting his focus into music and not beating his girlfriends?  Here’s the thing guys, we all have our own demons and who’s to say that being addicted to drugs isn’t the same thing as being abusive.  Both can hurt you and the people you love.  Everyone has their demons, and yes they’re terrible and cause us to do some inexcusable deeds but we shouldn’t forget that just because we haven’t physically assaulted a loved one, doesn’t mean that we haven’t caused pain with our own demons.  Just remember that, because that is how we understand forgiveness.  I’m not saying to forgive Chris Brown.  I wasn’t the one he hit and I’m not sure I could ever forgive that kind of behavior, but I don’t believe that it’s our job or place to decide who should or should not receive an award that is based on their talent.  I don’t believe we’ve forgotten what Chris has done either, and we’re not rewarding him, but people grow and he was definitely a victim of that lifestyle, and if we don’t give him that then we’re just forcing him into a life where we are not allowing him to change at all.  Doesn’t that make us just as bad?  I’d like you to keep in mind, I’m not a Chris Brown groupie or fan.

I’d also just like to point out before people go off on me about my morals, despite my open to forgiveness policy, rapists and murderers are allowed to be judged – keeping in mind why some murder i.e. self defense.

So that is why I felt those who were furious with Chris Brown winning were out of line.  It is not your place.  And I understand that there are organizations out there that join together against abuse and were most likely upset with the turn of events, but like I said, we all have our own demons.  We don’t know if he is trying to change his ways and seeking help, you know what I do know though?  He grew up with abuse, and those who do tend to either a) take on those

This is always okay...

characteristics because that’s what they know or b) become the opposite of that because they understand how terrible it is.  So obviously Chris has taken on some of those characteristic, but doesn’t that make him a victim also?  We need to show him that we don’t support or condone that behavior, but that we support him seeking help and being better.  Otherwise it looks like no one is in his corner supporting his recovery, except for those of his young fans who want to let him beat them also, which doesn’t exactly send the right message to him.  I honestly believe that people who abuse are also victims and need help. And telling him off for winning an award sends hatred.  If you were struggling with your demons, hatred would be the last thing you would need. All that is for the over 30s who were tweeting out their hate Grammy night.

Cheesy, but true.

The following is for the under 30s (most likely under 20s) who do not respect themselves enough to understand a man should never hit them, or simply don’t know how to make a good joke.  I sincerely hope the tweets saying “I would let Chris Brown hit me too” started as a terrible joke that for some reason was overly RTed, because I just can’t imagine that that many woman think so little of themselves.  I have never in my life met women who would say such things.  To all you women, EVERY woman: YOU ARE TOO AMAZING TO BE DECONSTRUCTED! WHETHER THAT BE BY WORDS OR ACTIONS! IF ANYONE HITS YOU OR CALLS YOU A NAME, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, DON’T EVER EVER SAY (EVEN AS A JOKE) THAT YOU WOULD BE OKAY WITH THAT! YOU ARE TOO SMART AND TOO AMAZING TO EVEN THINK SUCH THINGS AND YOU SET EXAMPLES FOR OTHER WOMEN, WHO SHOULD LEARN FROM  A YOUNG AGE HOW INCREDIBLY AMAZING THEY ARE TOO!  Okay, that is me being advisory and inspirational.  I suggest you take note and write this on a mirror or something, because inspirational me doesn’t happen a lot.  So ladies, please value yourselves enough to know that a man has no right to hit you!  Rihanna certainly did not want that.  And I’m almost 100% positive that Chris didn’t want that either.  So those of you tweeting that to him, are sending him the wrong message! If you want to be a real fan of his, then support him in being the best him he can be.  And those of you who went on to degrade these women after reading their tweets, shame on you!  Telling a woman who clearly already doesn’t love herself that she is ‘dumb’ and calling her derogatory terms, isn’t going to help the situation. You’re just reaffirming these women’s beliefs that they’re not good enough.  It’s okay to educate them on the situation, but don’t call them ‘stupid’ or ‘dumb’ for not knowing better.  Educate them and teach them self respect so that they never let a man treat them in such a way and that more importantly, they pass these lessons on to their daughters and friends.

In regards to all of this, something else I noticed was some men and women (especially women, which boggles my mind) seem to think that saying “Rihanna deserved it” is okay.  This is just as bad as saying you’d like Chris Brown to beat you.  Seriously, it doesn’t matter if you don’t like her or her music. As mentioned, NO WOMAN deserves to be hit!  EVER!  And how do you know she ‘deserved’ it anyway? Have you met her? It’s just disgusting that another woman can have the nerve to say a woman deserves to be beaten.  Go and search what Chris even did to her and tell me that you still think she deserved that.  It seems to me that women need to learn the respect word, for themselves and one another.

Please, I beg of all of you reading this to respect yourself and others.  Please be more forgiving and loving.  Please be more understanding and kind.  Please know when a subject just doesn’t concern you.  Please share your opinions, but remember that we all have our ups and downs and just because yours aren’t broadcasted on the internet, TV and magazines doesn’t mean they aren’t just as bad.

Thank you for reading & have a wonderful day!



*Ignore my lack of grammar and spelling skills. I wrote this in parts because it so greatly frustrated me, so at some point it was late and I was watching a movie at the same time.  Sorry if parts sound like gibberish. And I apologize for the odd advertisements connected to the words…I don’t know how to fix that :S

*Also, I try to be a happy, non-ranty person (ranty person was the old me) but I really couldn’t keep this to myself. I have a tendency to be overly opinionated and feel the need to share.  That’s what blogs are for, right? Hopefully the rants will only come out on occasion.

*If you did like this post and you thought it was “inspirational” or something smart, please share with others.  I’m not looking for some huge blog success or anything, read it once and don’t come back, whatever.  But I really feel like so many women, young and old don’t understand the importance of loving oneself and that really was the main message I wanted to get across. Well, and that I think every tweet concerning Chris Brown on Grammy night was basically uncalled for.  But really, if you liked this please send it to those you believe should read it.  Okay, I’ll stop talking now. 


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